I remember attending a surprise birthday party for one of my close civilian friends. I went knowing the party was at a bar and that I’d be around a lot of people who’d be drinking. To make it more complicated, I’d be around all my old drinking friends. Was it a precarious situation? I felt ok about it, so I went.
Going into this experience, I knew I’d like to leave after about an hour. I struggle a bit when I’m out socially for more than an hour or two, so I often plan to leave a party at a set time. Because this was a surprise party, timing everything became tricky. I didn’t want to arrive too early and wait around too long. I also didn’t want to leave too early and be rude.
Ultimately, it all boiled down to two things: my sobriety and myself. I have to be a little selfish with my behavior. Being social is important to me, but I do it on my terms…and that’s ok.
Sometimes all of this planning feels like a lot of work, but it helps. It makes seemingly unmanageable situations much easier to handle. It’s not based in anxiety or future-tripping; I’m not emotionally tied to the outcome. I just try to plan the process and let the results follow. It seems to work really well for me and I stick to it as best I can.
Having a plan, and a set of principals to live by, has saved me so much time and energy. Sometimes it does feel like a lot of work and effort, planning and thinking, but when I realize the benefits, and consider the alternative…it’s not work, it’s life. It’s nice that my sobriety has comes with these types of revelations.
